The holidays always threaten to wrench me from my purpose--on Thanksgiving and Christmas the emotions and expectations of my extended family run high--but this year the holiday's were particularly hard.
Just. Plain. Hard.
Not because of what I've lost. I've come to terms with that. But because I've finally figured out (after weeks of prayer and introspect, scripture and blog reading) what I need to do. And, in addition to gathering and honing courage, I've learned that this quote (one of my all-time favorites) by Marianne Williamson rings true--painfully true--for me:
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us. It is not just in some; it is in everyone. And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
This January, cold and foggy, I am grateful for those who have traveled the path before me. For their courage in liberating themselves from fear. I am following, running to catch up. I will get there.